The Motivational Rockstarr

Project 365: Day 24 – The Breakthrough On Page 149

Posted on: July 24, 2011

I had this limiting belief – well, it was more of a requirement – about how I would meet my husband. While this part of my transition isn’t necessarily public, the process through which I received my breakthrough can – and will – help anyone in any area of their life…if they so choose.

Okay, so back to my required belief.

I always had an issue with trusting men due to the relationships I’ve had in the past (i.e. father, brothers, kids’ father, etc.). Before I moved south I asked God to let me meet my husband at the lowest point of my life. I asked for this to happen because I needed to know that he loved me for me and not for what I know I will acquire. It went from being a simple request to an immoveable requirement.

Enter the book: Loving What Is by Byron Katie

I started reading this book yesterday. It was the second reading choice for this month in my mastermind alliance. As I was reading, I discovered that the main root of ALL our problems is not in the situation itself, but in how we ATTACH ourselves to the THOUGHTS associated with a situation. I started reading this book because for the past few weeks I’ve been reckless, dangerous, and uncouth in my thoughts, deeds, actions, and decisions. I needed something to get me back on track. Silver (my guardian angel/spirit) told me this book would do it. Silver was right!

The breakthrough occurred while reading a dialogue the author Byron Katie(known as Katie) was doing with a man named Charles. He was unhappy that his wife was not living up to the fantasy he conjured up in his mind. Essentially, he wasn’t living in reality. His story struck something in me once I finished it. Before I get too deep in my breakthrough let me point something out.

The process by which Katie helps people reach their breakthrough is called “The Work”. It’s a set of questions (called the “Judge Your Neighbor” worksheet) followed by four analyzing questions and what she calls “The Turnaround.” The worksheet isn’t relevant in my breakthrough because it all just hit me at once. Sometimes breakthroughs happen like that. At any rate, here are the four analyzing questions she asks:

1) Is it true? (Is the way you perceive the thought the way it REALLY is in reality?)

2) Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Is it how you SEE it, or how you THINK you SEE it?)

3) How do you react when you think that thought? (How does that thought make you feel? What do you say/do? Is it empowering or dis-empowering?)

4) Who would you be without the thought?

and…Turn it around.

Here’s how my breakthrough occurred in alignment with the four questions:

Thought: I need to meet my husband at the lowest point of my life. I need to know that he loves me for who I am and not for what I have/will have.

1) Is that true? My initial answer was yes. I needed to know that my husband will love me for me and not for any other reason(s).

2) Can you absolutely know that it’s true? Here is where I started to second guess myself. It is a belief of mine that love is what will bring my husband and I together. If that’s the case, then it doesn’t matter what stage I’m at in life, he will be drawn to me by love…not money, security, or status.

3) How do you react when you think that thought? I think I have to keep myself at the bottom because it’s the only way I’ll meet my husband. It causes me to be reckless, irresponsible, and stay in a position in life that I don’t like because I feel if I move any higher I may end up questioning every man I come in contact with, not trust them, and end up alone. In the process of waiting for him to show up and love me, I’m not truly loving myself.

4) Who would you be without that thought? I would be free and able to continue writing, motivating, and enjoying life. I would be more comfortable with growing to a higher station in life because I will no longer be hindered by the belief that I have to stay at the bottom in order to meet my husband. (By the way, I’m love-centered so anything love related is EXTREMELY important to me.) I would be in an emotional position where I could recognize and reciprocate love because I AM LOVE! That is what will allow my husband to recognize me.

Turn the statement around: THIS is where I had my breakthrough. Read CLOSELY!

I need to meet MYSELF at the lowest point in my life. I need to know that I LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM and not for what I have/will have.

The purpose of The Work is simple. What we see in others is what we truly see in ourselves. What disappoints us about others is really what disappoints us about ourselves. Reality is just that…reality. And when it doesn’t match up with our fantasy or illusory world it causes anger, stress, depression, sadness, disappointment, recklessness, negative addictions, and other manners of behavior that are unnecessary, unacceptable, unneeded, unwanted, and undesired! So UN-do the madness, detach and disassociate from that you believe to be what is, and accept reality for how it truly is.

What I was expecting from a man that I may not have even met yet was something that I need to give to myself! It’s not that HE has to love me at my lowest point. That’s not his job…it’s MINE! I have to love me at my lowest point! I have to meet me, know me, love me, and accept me before I can ever expect anyone else to do it. That was my breakthrough. That was my wake up call to every other area of my life. Not needing to meet my husband for him to love me…but needing to truly love, appreciate, and accept MYSELF for who I am, where I am…TODAY!

To truly over-stand this breakthrough I recommend you read Loving What Is by Byron Katie (she’s a girl and she’s THAT DEAL!). I still have a few more pages to go, but the good thing about The Work is that once you over-stand and have applied the process it starts to become second nature. As Katie says (and I’m paraphrasing here because I don’t remember it verbatim): You don’t do The Work. The Work does you!

I’ll be applying The Work to several areas of my life over the next few days. Let’s see what other hidden madness I can unveil and release!  Back into stillness I go!

The journey continues…

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1 Response to "Project 365: Day 24 – The Breakthrough On Page 149"

I’m REALLY gonna have to read her book now! I’ve listened to her speak on a few online events. Woot woot for the breakthrough!

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